Funny Retirement Quotes and Sayings with Image Quotes and Sayings


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Wife: "How on Earth do you know which gender they were?" Husband: "Easy: three were on the beer, and the other two were on the phone." (From Guy-Sports.com) A not-so-nice Canadian? An elderly.


Funny Retirement Quotes and Sayings with Image Quotes and Sayings

Best Jokes About Retirement 1. My wife and I have started aggressively planning for our retirement, and by that I mean we're playing the lottery 3-5 times per week. 2. If the music's too loud you're too old. 3. I've learned that saying "oh, this old thing?" isn't an appropriate way to introduce an elderly relative. 4. I love coffee.


Old Man Jokes, Old People Jokes, Snarky Humor, Man Humor, Cowboy Humor

1) What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? Retired! 2) When you retire, you switch bosses—from the one who hired you to the one who married you. 3) When 'I'm too old for this shit ' becomes your daily mantra, you know it's time to retire. 4) Congratulations on quitting your job without being escorted out of the building.


Funny Retirement Quotes and Sayings with Image Quotes and Sayings

Retirement Humor So you're retiring? Gettin' old? Laugh retirement in the face and lighten up with a bit of humor. Use the following retirement jokes and quotes for the final farewell speech, the farewell card, or just for a different perspective while you check your life savings:


Funny Retirement Quotes and Sayings with Image Quotes and Sayings

Entertainment 5 of the funniest jokes about retirement Jocelyn Nickels Oct 11, 2019 These retirement jokes are sure to have you laughing. Source: Getty Retirement gifts It was Harry's.


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Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did. 31. You know you're fifty when your chiropractor sends you birthday cards. 32. You know you're getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party. 33. To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid. 34.


17 Funny Retirement Jokes LaffGaff, The Home Of Laughter

Retirement jokes are funny and old age is certainly a funny thing too. Our bodies start to ache in strange places, hairs start growing out of even stranger places, and our memories start to fade. On the plus side, we get to retire and enjoy a life of leisure. Here's a collection of funny retirement jokes to celebrate that special time of life.


Quotes about Funny Retirement (53 quotes)

22 Best Retirement Jokes. By Lynette Gil. Slideshow September 16, 2015 at 09:11 AM Share & Print. X. Share with Email. Send. sending now. Thank you for sharing!


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Normal. I finally retired, now my coffee is decaffein-ated… just like my workload! Retirement: The world's longest coffee break. They say retirement is the time to relax, which is why I'm practicing my yawn. In retirement, every night is Friday night, and every day is Sunday! I wanted to make a joke about retiring, but I'm not working anymore.


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1. Hunting Buddies A couple of retired buddies went hunting. After tramping through the woods for the day, Walt's friend clutches his chest before collapsing on the ground. Calling 911, he frantically explains his friend isn't breathing and appears to be dead. The dispatcher asks "First, can you make sure he's dead?" "Hang on" Walt said,


When I Retire Joke Pictures, Photos, and Images for Facebook, Tumblr

1. How do you know you are old enough to retire? Instead of lying about your age, you start bragging about it! 2. Why don't drummers come out of retirement? Too many repercussions. 3. I know lots of jokes about retirement, but none of them work. 4.


25+ Hilarious Retirement Jokes to Celebrate With Laughter Humor Living

Answer: Tied shoes. Question: Why do retirees count pennies? Answers: They are the only ones who have the time. Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? Answer: Nuts! Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?


Funny Retirement Quotes and Sayings with Image Quotes and Sayings

1. What do you call a person that's happy on Monday? Retired. Photo by David Em/Humor Living. 2. What's the best part of every job? Retirement. 3. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it'll take all day. 4. Why shouldn't you call a retiree at 8 PM? You might wake them up. 5. Why do many retirees go to church?


The Funniest Retirement Memes in the Galaxy Life After Work Medium

Happy retirement. I doubt anyone around here will even notice that you're gone. It's going to be strange walking into the office and not seeing your face. Your wrinkled, miserable face. Happy retirement. You were the best boss a company could have. Now go away and don't come back. You started work in the olden days and finished in your olden days.


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1. "Retirement is the perfect time to start living like a child again - without curfews and homework!" 2. "Why did the retired teacher become a gardener? Because she wanted to help things grow, even after retirement!" 3. "Retirement is like a vacation in Las Vegas. Your goal is; enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money!" 4.


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Funny Retirement Sayings. Retirement has nothing to do with my age…. It has to do with my income. You should start thinking about retirement before your boss does. A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job. Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money. Retirement is wonderful.